Too Many Gifts

I would of been around 8 or 9 years old when I was asked to get up on the kitchen chair and reach up for something right at the back of the top cupboard, as we called it. As I rummaged about, a Girls First Knitting Set fell forward. "Oh look what I`ve found Mom" I said all excited. I pulled it out and showed her. Her expression changed and I knew I had done something wrong. "Where`ve ya ad that from" she barked. Pretty obvious really. "Alright then you can av it but first you`ve got to do....." She gave me some chore or other to do and then I was allowed the knitting set. She told me that she had put it away for when I was bored one day, to give me something to do. Fair enough. 

 Mother was quite good at knitting though rarely finished much, there were several bags with half finished cardigans or jumpers inside stashed about the house, when she got bored and it was too much bother to do the tricky bit of sewing them together she lost interest. She showed me how to knit, not with much patience but I tried very hard to please her and practised by myself until I could just about do it. She beamed her approval at what she saw as her own achievement in teaching me something as apposed to my achievement in learning a new skill. I was curious about the cupboard now and when she was napping I decided to have another look for more treasure. Up on the chair I had to stand on tiptoes to root about. Imagine my surprise when I saw a Christmas present. I took it down for inspection. It was half unwrapped, the end of the paper torn back to reveal a colouring book, there was a gift tag too, though I can`t remember who it was from after all these years. It was written out to me though, To Amanda. 

 It certainly wasn`t Christmas now. I could also make out another thing at the back, maybe a jigsaw puzzle but it was out of reach. I put the parcel back as I knew I would be for it if I was found looking. A while later when I was tidying my knitting things back in the box I noticed there was some gift wrap stuck in a thin line on the side of the lid, it looked like Birthday wrapping paper from what I could see of the sliver stuck under a strip of sellotape still. Only a little girl, I puzzled what these strange gifts were and where they came from. 
Bored one day I asked Mother if there were any more toys in the top cupboard. She snapped NO ! But after a while fetched me the half unwrapped colouring book down, probably to keep me out of her hair. I watched as she hastily snatched the paper off and put it quickly in the bin. Where was it from I dared to ask. 
 I was told this story. If she thought I had too many presents, Christmas or Birthday gifts, she thoughtfully put a few away for me so on days like these, when I was stuck for something to do, In need of attention and parenting more like, then she could find me a Surprise ! To cheer me up ! What a kind and clever Mother I had ! Wasn`t that a good idea she beamed at me at the same time daring me to challenge her decision. I didn`t know what to make of it but delighted with a new colouring book I was happy. Odd isn`t it that I was only given these saved gifts after coming across them myself. 

 Thinking back there were often times after that a small game or toy mysteriously appeared to keep me quiet. Though I don`t remember any still with wrapping paper on. I can only guess that she was jealous of all the gifts I had got for Birthday`s and Christmas`s and had spitefully hidden a few away here and there, even unwrapping them herself to see what I had been bought. Whether she would of ever given them to me had I not found them by accident I don`t know, maybe not. I imagine her thanking the people for the lovely present, telling them Dear Little Amanda loved it when in truth I hadn`t even received it. I cannot imagine helping myself to my own children`s presents and unwrapping them in secret and hiding them away. 

I will add that when I was in my early teens she once asked me that if she put my birthday gifts in carrier bags would I wrap them up myself as she didn`t feel up to it. Even from my conditioned viewpoint this registered as odd so I quietly said no, she pulled her face and sighed, not impressed she couldn`t off load the task.