Me Me Me

After trying to act with integrity and also consider my Son`s feelings and how he may feel about things in the future if he`s denied a chance to meet them, I am now back in contact with my Parents to allow them both a shot at being Grand Parents. It turns out to be ill-advised but at least I can say I tried to do the right thing. Husband will still have nothing to do with them so we meet in the day time. 

 To soften her effect on proceedings and also give my Father a change of scene I suggest stopping for a quick browse at a Garden Centre on the way over to my house. She`s very excited and my Father is dosed up on steroids and a new inhaler and can manage a gentle stroll. I set up the pushchair and get my little lad settled, and off we go. She`s clearly desperate to splash some cash and without any thought or colour coordination she starts grabbing random flowers from an expensive looking display. I browse and as we are managing now on a very tight budget due to one wage only, I take care deciding what one little treat I can buy for the house. She`s very busy chattering... Oh look at these, oh I like that, I`ll get one those etc, and quickly her basket is full. As we went around I`ve seen a candle I think I`ll get and so when we decide we are pretty much finished and I say to my Father I`m going to pop back and pick something up. She suddenly has a funny turn..."Oh Geoff I do feel whoosy, oh dear, I don`t think I`ve had anything since breakfast, I feel all light headed, oh dear I`ll have to get back to the car". 

 Father has to pay for her shopping and she`s so weak she has to hang on to the pushchair and I effectively push my little lad and her both back to the car with her doing her slow, attention seeking crawl she`s perfected over the years. {After whining to my Father about how quickly I walk one time, I don`t I`m a plodder, and him scolding me for rushing her, she once did the most ridiculously slow walk to the car she drew looks of puzzlement from passers by as she looked practically catatonic, she then left to dash to bingo when I was visiting soon after and skipped down the road like a spring lamb which I could not help but point out to him,"I see Mother`s mobility is greatly improved today, just look at her go !" he naturally did not reply} I get her in the car and sort my lad into his car seat and fold up the pushchair as my father appears with her shopping. Shall I take you home I offer, having a suspicion I`ve just been played good and proper because she thought I may go browsing candles while she has to wait for me. She thinks she`ll be OK when she gets to mine and has a cup of tea. We drive home and remembering I need some potatoes for tea, I say I`ll just nip into the farm shop quickly to grab some, I won`t be a minute or two. "Oh I like it here, they have some lovely bits and bobs I remember, I`ll come with ya Mand"......`What ? after that little stunt, you bloody won`t` I think. 

 "OH NO" I say firmly and a little louder than  intended, my Father looking up quickly, wondering where this was going. " We can`t have you collapsing can we, whatever would we do ?"...." Well I`ve ad a bit a chocolate otta me bag now" she whines...."Better not" I say, already out of the car and shutting the door on her. I was so mad, it was clearly all fake, the usual on and off drama performance so she only has to do what suits her and never have a moments patience for anyone else. In the time we have been out of touch she obviously hasn`t reflected on her behaviour and is just as bad as always. She`s absolutely fine afterwards and swans about my house taking everything in and asking where this is from and how much was that. My Father, knowing full well I`ve sussed her out, looks a bit uncomfortable on her behalf.

A few years later when she was the only Grand Parent my son had left, I picked her up to spend the day with us, plan was to drop my lad at nursery and then take her to the supermarket close by for some groceries. I park up and say "You`ll walk in with us won`t you and then you can see him go into his classroom and what the nursery is like?" {I had foolishly told him Grand Ma was coming to take him to nursery which would of been nice for him as he saw lots of other Grand parents drop children off} She wrinkles her nose and screws her mouth up, as if she`s tasted something she doesn`t like. 

 "Well.....I don`t think so, I get so tired and I`ve got to get me shoppin yet" Its literally 20 paces to the nursery and his class room is closest to the door. I`m so mad, mad she can`t make a little effort for my son, mad she takes no interest in his little world, mad I`m now going to make an effort with her and what she wants to do, mad I bother with her at all.   What I should of done is driven her home and told her, if she doesn`t make an effort with us then we don`t make an effort with her. Ever the fool I am her personal shopper and then take her back to mine, make her a cup of tea and when I say "oh its time to go and get him now" she says she`ll stay there and wait as she`s worn out. When we arrive back, before even speaking to him, she`s asking am I going to do a bit of lunch as she`s peckish now. God forbid she gets off her backside and prepares us all a little something ready for when I get back with him. Honestly, hindsight is a wonderful thing, she had me so well trained and she was so blatant with what she knew she would get away with time and time again.