The School Uniform

I started school when I was 5 years old, we still lived in the high rise block of flats and so I was at the local Infants school for a year until we moved to the 3 storey terraced house when I was 6. I then changed to an Infants school 5 mins walk from my new house.

Me in my uniform

The first school I was at had a uniform, it was an old parish school, St Luke`s and was more conservative than the council run school I later moved to, there was no uniform policy there and pupils wore whatever they wanted within reason.

I was warned time and time again to take good care of this uniform, it had cost a lot of money, I wasn`t to dare lose any of it, nor the gym kit. My name was emblazoned in several places on each item. If she could of sewn me in it as well she would of. I was reminded SHE never had a uniform like this, I was a very lucky girl. She always went to school shivering in Winter, dressed in inadequate hand me downs, tight shoes etc...this was no doubt true and very sad, it was also absolutely not my fault. But as instilling guilt in me, for the most basic need provided for, was fast becoming a hobby of hers, I dutifully felt that guilt and unworthiness of this great fuss and expense I was putting my parents to.

So when the offer of a house with small garden came along, rather than a flat in a block, which was fast being filled with what my parents considered were `undesirables`, they were eager to move. Therefore I changed school.

Now my uniform, worn with extreme care by me, was pristine and still had room for growth as it was pretty big on me from the start. So my Mother did not intend this expense to go to waste. You`ll be wearing that uniform at the new school you know Amanda, she warned me sharply. I was surprised but didn't quite grasp whether it was because they had the same uniform or it didn`t matter mine would be different, I was too young to understand what I would be walking into.

So imagine the fuss when this girl turned up, mid term, at a nonuniform wearing school, in her old school`s uniform. For someone who avoided attention and was painfully shy I was certainly the centre of attention now and for all the wrong reasons. I was 6 and the memories are hazy but I cannot forget the awful churning feeling I had the whole day, my head down, face red and deflecting endless...What ya got that on for, Where you from, You `ere from another school, why ya talk so posh, who`d you think you are, stuck up....etc etc.....I was stared at, pointed at and sniggered at, all day long. 

I`d like to say I sobbed and sobbed when I got home but my tears were never appreciated, it was more a case of choking the tears back, barely answering my parents questions of how was it and hanging my head in despair and humiliation. I timidly tried to say I`m not wearing it tomorrow but was quickly silenced and I got the `expense` speech, chapter and verse.

 

The next day was worse in a way as I knew what I was in for. I was teased and bullied mercilessly because now they had cottoned on to the fact I was frightened of my own shadow and they could pretty much do and say what they liked to me. I became mute for the day and shut down. I had no idea how to make a friend and no one wanted to be friends with the freak in the uniform who was a magnet for every bully.

That was the last day I wore the uniform. How it played out at home I cannot remember. Some of the most vicious rows seem to have been blocked from my recollection but my distress was now undeniable and my Mother may well have feared not actually getting me into school for a 3rd day, which would of meant no free child care, so on balance she gave way and I went in my own clothes. The damage was done though. They all knew I was weak and unable to stick up for myself, they thought I was posh and not one of them and I would be forever known as the girl who wore a uniform to a non uniform wearing school. I was always on the back foot and constantly fretting the subject would be bought up. 

More fight or flight stress for me to deal with.

 When I got to about 10 or 11ish I was made to wear some of my Mother`s cast off`s, she was short and at the time slightly built and so sleeves were rolled up, waist bands turned over and an awful plastic belt was tightened like a safety strap around the waist of some polyester, white bell bottomed trousers, which I still remember wearing with great shame. 

Not to mention the flared slacks bought in the C & A sale. They were covered in Traffic Signals saying HALT ! STOP! SLOW DOWN ! and ONE WAY ! which were read and shouted at me from every direction when I walked by. 

And they say school day`s are the happiest day`s of your life.